Today I had some unexpected one on one time with one of my children.  I decided to ask a question and see what happened….

 

What is the number one area you think you need to work on

in your life at the moment?

no answer, so I tried another question….

What do you think is the area Mummy talks to you the most about?

 

Why are you asking? They asked me.

As a child you are to be growing and maturing all the time, and it is my job as your parent to help you do that.  But there comes a time when you need to know the things that aren’t right in your life, and you need to know how you are going to change them.  You need to take responsibility for the type of person you grow into.  Now is the time for you to start doing that and by talking about it you can start to learn how to think that way.  By talking about it I am helping you learn to be responsible.

After they acknowledged an area (probably different than the one I would have said, but still a true assessment) we talked about what character trait was missing, and how they could improve on that area. 

the conversation drifted onto other things…

As I think back over the conversation, I look forward to seeing some improvement over the next few days.  It is as if we are now on the same team – we are working together rather than me setting the standard, reminding, prompting, lecturing and being disappointed.  Now that we’ve had a talk about it, all I should need to do is give a gentle reminder to our conversation and see if they change their heart.