Perfectionism is a heart attitude that affects our life: It affects our acceptance of ourselves, our parenting, our marriage, our business and our faith.

I have a series on Instagram you can see here where I joined with other women talking about how to resist this urge for perfectionism.  You can see it here.

If we struggle with perfectionism we need to identify when it raises its head and then walk away from it – every time. It is not good for us nor for our kids. At the end of this post I have a Heart Booster Journal Page as a free download.  As you use these journal prompts when you start to feel perfectionism raise it’s head you’ll be on a path to overcoming.

Perfectionism Distracts us from our Purpose.

As a Christian, my purpose is to love God and love others. My purpose is to grow more like Him and honour Him in all that I do so that others see Him as Lord, Saviour, God.

The thing that has helped me with the idea of purpose over perfect is to keep my eyes on the main thing.

Keep the main thing the main thing.

The main thing for me is relationships. Every time. Relationship with God, with myself, with people around me.

In talking to women about this many perfectionists have asked me: But what if being perfect is the main thing? When they ask me this they know that it isn’t – they know that perfection isn’t really attainable, they know it messes up stuff, but something in them shuts everything else out and they keep on striving towards this unattainable goal. Is that you?

The only way to overcome and learn a new mindset is to be self-aware. To know when this thinking is directing your choices – and then to make time to deal with it. When you feel that perfectionist rising up, it is time for some Reflective Heart Time. Time to think about what is going on in your heart and how that is affecting your choices.

Ask yourself:
– What is in my heart (what am I believing or valuing or feeling) right now?
– Is that a belief I want to hold onto?
– Is that a value I want to live by?
– Is that a feeling that I want to direct my choices?

Ask yourself:
– What is happening around me?
– Is it good fruit or bad?
– Is it building up or tearing down?
– Is it people-pleasing or God-pleasing?

Ask yourself:
– What do I believe success looks like at this moment? and
– How would God define success in this situation?

Ask yourself:
-What do I need to change to be
-God-honouring successful in this moment?

Once you’ve done the thinking – take it to God in prayer! The Holy Spirit will help you move on from this wrong thinking to thinking in line with God’s word. God’s word says that we are loved. Fullstop. God made us, loved us, redeemed us, restored us, He lives within us, strengthens us, guides us, teaches us. And we don’t have to do anything for that. What we do does not earn this love. It is grace.

Knowing that we are loved by God changes how we relate to people and the circumstances we find ourselves in. We can overcome perfectionism by renewing our mind. That is, by constantly focusing on what Jesus says is true rather than what the world tells us is true. Romans 12:2 Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world but let God
transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.

I have created a journal page with those questions listed. Print off a few to have on hand for when that attitude of perfection starts to show up.