Are you unintentionally overlooking your youngest?
Its easy to do as a busy parent. When we always ask the oldest child to help or do a task (because they are faster, better, or just know how to do it) we rob the younger ones a chance to learn and grow.
We have to be committed to teaching and training every child – oldest to youngest. Each child needs opportunities to learn responsibility.
If you have more than one child then this week’s episode will be helpful – it is about how to balance instructions across different ages.
You can Make the Right Decision Quickly
We often default to the oldest when we need something done because they are capable. But they are capable because we’ve depended on them, we’ve taught them to do things.
If we don’t pass on that training to our youngest – they will never know how to do things.
I know training is exhausting when we just want the job done – but we need to do right by our youngest kids as much as we did for our oldest.
The trick is to keep your oldest growing in responsibility so you do have time to teach the younger to do the things the older used to do.
Ask yourself these questions before you just automatically ask the oldest, or the most capable – to do whatever you need done.
Let me know if these questions are helpful.
Give the Same Opportunities to Each of Your Children
It’s easy to forget how much time and effort we spent training our firstborns – because they now do things effortlessly.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that the younger one is just not ready – too often we haven’t given them the same changes to try, fail and learn.
Too often we are controlled by the urgent not the important.
It is important to teach and train each of our children what is right, why it is right and how to do right.
It is inconvenient. Teaching our kids life skills and responsibility takes time and effort – but if we don’t teach them they won’t know how to do things because these things have to be taught not just expected.
Is there something you think you can start teaching your younger child to do?
Mum - Stop doing the Chores!
Mums (and Dads) usually get so focused on getting the chores done that we forget that it is a training opportunity, and it is something that we must teach our kids.
It is easier to do it ourselves and just have our kids help us. But they live in the house too, and they need to be a part of the team that maintains our home.
But our kids don’t just want to do chores, they don’t just want to be responsible – we need to teach them.
This is why a parent’s main responsibility at chore time is to teach, guide, and supervise as their children learn to do things around the house.
Parents will have to have another time in the day when they do their chores.
Eventually, you will be able to do the daily housework as a family – but while your children are learning to do the different things you need to be available to teach them. That needs to be your focus.
Let me know if this is a different perspective than you’ve thought about.
You are not 'behind'!
Training happens one step at a time. You cannot predict how long the training is going to take. Sometimes your child picks it up quickly, sometimes you need to go over things over and over and over.
Growth doesn’t look the same for every child, and it rarely happens on our schedule!
It takes patience, and you will only have patience if you understand how important your task is.
Don’t give up. You are doing important work – one step, one lesson at a time!
Homeschool Spot
Homeschooling Different Ages and Levels
Are you feeling stretched thin trying to balance all the homeschooling needs of each of you children? There is very likely something you could tweak that would help things go more smoothly.
So many parents get caught up thinking they need to teach each subject at each student’s level – and they burn out fast trying to keep up.
I certainly hit a wall when I was doing our homeschooling like this. I had 2 kids in our homeschool, a toddler (who was sick) and a baby! It was a bit crazy there for a while till I found another way.
Combining our kids for some of our homeschooling dy wasn’t just efficient for me – it enriched their leanring experience.
I’m not about shortcuts just to save time, but this is one way we built up our family by having a homeschooling lifestyle.
Swipe through these 3 different ways we made homeschooling lessons work in our family and let me know if you want any more info on any one of these ideas. Happy to chat.
Further Reading…
How to Parent Multiple Children of Different Ages: (Heart-focused Parenting Podcast #97) We need to parent in a way that benefits all our kids, not just our oldest, and not just the youngest.
How to make Training a part of your Heart-focused Parenting: Parenting is about teaching and training our children’s hearts – their beliefs, convictions, character, and helping them process their emotions and choices. It has to happen every day – all day!
What to do When Your Child Doesn’t Have a Teachable Heart: The phrase “unteachable heart” is often used to describe a person who is unwilling to learn or change their ways. How do we deal with it?
How to be a Consistent Parent without the Guilt – We all know consistency is important but how do we balance that with all the interruptions of life not making us feel guilty that we aren’t as consistent as we’d like?
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Hi there! I'm Belinda and I'm glad you are here!
I am a family life coach and help parents to raise their kids with faith, values and life skills in a way that is intentional, relational and heart-focused. Read more in my Introduction page
You can learn about heart-focused parenting through my podcast, blog and weekly email (Heart Boosters).
If you need help you can book a coach call or email me here.
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