When your Children tell their story, what part will you play?
In the busyness of motherhood, it’s easy to focus on tasks and miss what really matters.
Of course, our children will remember what we do – but they will also remember how we made them feel. Were we a safe, encouraging, nurturing person in their life?
If these things are our goal, then why do we get distracted with keeping the house perfect, and making a fuss about the food they eat (or don’t eat), or signing them up for all the activities?
It’s exhausting trying to “do all the things.” And while we run around exhausted, we stop being the mum we want to be.
But maybe the most important thing we can do is focus on becoming the mum we hope they’ll remember.
This week’s podcast looks at 5 core values that I wanted my kids to say about me when they grew up. I hope as you listen to the podcast, you’ll start thinking about what you want your life to be defined by – but also that you’ll consider this episode your permission to stop trying to be all the things – and instead focus on what matters.
Just off the top of your head – what do you want your kids to say about you when they grow up?
What type of Parent are you?
Do you fall into habits that don’t align with what you know is right?
Living (and parenting) from our heart requires us to be diligent in the choices we make.
It is easy to fall back into old habits – but the more we correct ourselves (and say sorry, and ask for forgiveness when we mess up) the stronger our new habits become.
Which aspect of heart-focused parenting do you struggle with the most. Happy to chat in the DM’s if you want some help.
What is important?
It’s easy to measure our motherhood by visible things — tidy homes, organized schedules, nutritious meals, great birthday parties.
But those things fade.
What really makes a difference in our child’s heart is how we made them feel, and the relationship we have with them.
Our kids will probably forget how perfect the living room was decorated, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel because you didn’t want them to make a mess.
I’m not saying making a mess is good – I’m saying there’s a way to prioritise relationship that will make a lasting impression on our kids lives.
Are we growing into the type of mum that we want to be? Or are we hyperfocused on the things that don’t really matter?
The little things matter...
The small moments matter – the conversations in the car, the extra snuggle at bedtime, the patience when everyone is tired, the quiet listening late into the night – even when you are tired. It all tells our kids we are here for them.
Every choice we make as a mum to be loving, patient, kind, involved, available – builds a relationship that will only get stronger as the years go on.
Sometimes these moments are so ordinary, so every day, that we rush past them, we skip them, we say we’ll do it tomorrow.
One thing I reminded myself was that if I couldn’t be there for them in the little things what made me think they’d turn to me in the big things.
Parenting is inconvenient at times. We need to keep our eyes on the end goal – reciprocal relationship with our kids.
Pause for a moment: What does your child need most from you today?
#christianparenting #intetionalparenting #everydayparenting #slowmotherhood
Conversation Starts for Husband and Wife
Topic: Thinking about our Legacy
- What do you hope our kids will say about us when they’re adults?
- If you could pick one thing we could model really well as parents, what would it be?
- Is there something about our family life you’d love to strengthen or focus on more in this season?
- When we get caught up in being busy, what’s one habit you think we should protect?
- How can we encourage each other to be heart-focused in our parenting?
Conversation Starters for Parents and Kids
Topic: Our Family
- When you grow up, what do you think you’ll remember the most about being part of our family?
- What are some things you think make someone a really good mum or dad?
- If you could describe our family in three words, what would they be?
- What’s something you really love that we do together – even if it’s small?
- When you have a family one day, is there something you hope to do the same as we do?
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Hi there! I'm Belinda and I'm glad you are here!
I am a family life coach and help parents to raise their kids with faith, values and life skills in a way that is intentional, relational and heart-focused. Read more in my Introduction page
You can learn about heart-focused parenting through my podcast, blog and weekly email (Heart Boosters).
If you need help you can book a coach call or email me here.
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