Exhaustion doesn't have to be your Normal
Exhaustion might feel “normal” in motherhood today… but it’s not the way its always been – and you can make changes.
If we don’t make changes, the cost is high:
⚠️ Burnout that steals our joy.
⚠️ Relationships that run on empty.
⚠️ Kids who see stress as the standard.
You can’t keep running at this pace without something breaking.
When we know whats going on around us, the influences and trends, we can make changes.
This week’s Heart-Focused Parenting Podcast unpacks why mums today are so exhausted (IMO) and the shifts you can make to protect your margin, your peace, and your family life.
🎧Listen or read (podcast available on iTunes or Spotify, or on my website/blog)
🙌 Don’t stay stuck in exhaustion
Through the Power of God's Grace
This is what I held onto with all I had in the days when Pete was working away from home, and I was doing the day to day stuff with 4 kids, on my own.
2 Corinthians 9:8 says, And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.
When we set our intention to live life as a woman, as a wife, as a mother, homeschooler (add all your hats), with Jesus as Lord – with the desire to glorify Him in all that we do – then He gives us grace to be able to do just that.
Philippians 4:19 says – and my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Jesus gives us what we need to be emotionally strong in hard times, to have wisdom for tough decisions, to walk with conviction when our faith is challenged.
We can’t do it (glorify God in all our actions) without the grace of God – the strength of the Holy Spirit empowering us, guiding us, teaching us.
🌿 You don’t have to share it here, but pause for a moment… what’s on your plate today where you need God’s strength the most?
Lies We Believe
We often stare in awe at women who seemingly can do it all – we call them superwomen. We might say it in a deflecting kind of way, but in our heart of hearts – we want to be like her. Super woman – able to do it all.
But that is actually a humanistic thought – the ability to do it all – because humans aren’t made that way – we are limited. We don’t have the capacity to do all the things, be all the things, at all times. But humanistic thinking says we can, because humanistic thought tells us we have the power within us to do whatever we want.
When we understand humanity from God’s perspective we know this isn’t true. Instead what is true is that we have limited capacity – but we have an unlimited God, who never asks us to be unlimited.
When we parent from emotional and physical overload we are living as if it all depends on us. But it doesn’t. Motherhood was never designed to be done in our own strength. Nothing in life was meant to be done on our own.
When you realise that we were created to walk with Jesus, we start to see our struggles and our limitations, not as failures but as invitations to do things with God, in God honouring ways.
Motherhood
Motherhood is many things: beautiful, hard, stretching, sanctifying.
But I know there’s more — and I’d love to hear from you. 💛
👉 How would you finish this sentence?
“Motherhood is ________.”
This is a good journaling activity – dig in and see what you believe about Motherhood – and then check to see if this is what you say about this aspect of your life.
Questions Mums ask about Balancing Motherhood
How do I even start creating margin when everything on my calendar feels necessary?
It may feel like everything is necessary — but is it really? Start by doing a simple time audit to see where your hours are going. Then ask: Do these commitments fit our family goals and values for this season?
Often we say yes out of habit, pressure, or fear of missing out. Not everything urgent is truly important. When you filter your activities through what matters most, you’ll begin to see which things can be trimmed back. That’s how margin is created – by choosing what aligns with your values and letting go of the rest.
What if I like being busy and feel guilty slowing down?
Busyness in itself isn’t bad – but if it’s driven by fear, comparison, or the need to prove yourself, it can wear you down. Slowing down isn’t laziness – it’s stewardship. You are a whole person with spiritual, moral, emotional, social, intellectual and physical needs. Even Jesus withdrew from the crowds to rest and reconnect with the Father. Margin creates space to hear God, enjoy your people, and recover from life’s demands. Guilt often comes from cultural pressure, not from God. Ask Him to help you value peace and presence, not just productivity.
What if my husband doesn’t help carry the load?
This is a real challenge many mums face. My first thought is to make sure you are clear in what aspect of your life you are carrying the inappropriate mental load for – sharing mental load isn’t to remove responsibility for any one person but rather to make sure that shared responsibilities are indeed shared.
If you feel you need to address it, start with calm, honest conversations about what you’re carrying and how it’s affecting you. Talk about being a team, and be clear that you are talking about shared responsibilities. Invite your husband to partner with you, not from blame, but from the desire to build a stronger family culture. If needed, write down the mental load so he can see it clearly. Pray for wisdom and unity. Even if the load doesn’t shift overnight, you can still make personal changes – be honest when you feel overwhelmed or disappointed, commit to open conversations instead of passive agression, and determine not to take on responsibilities he has said he would carry.
I crave community, but I’ve tried and still feel lonely. What now?
You’re not alone in that ache. Community is hard to find – and often harder to build.
Start with one intentional step: message a friend, find somewhere to serve or volunteer, or host something small. Often connection grows when we take the lead, even if it feels awkward. Also consider where you’re looking: online spaces can help, but in-person consistency builds deeper relationships. Be honest, be available, and be the friend you’re looking for. Ask God to show you who needs what you have to offer.
What does ‘resetting expectations’ look like practically?
One of the first ways to reset expectations is to look at the why behind your goals. For example, why do you want a perfectly tidy house? Is it for validation, for acceptance, or out of a hidden fear? When we align our actions with loving God and loving others, many things we thought were “essential” lose their hold. Romans 13 reminds us that love does no harm to our neighbour. That perspective helps us see that people come first. We still need to do things well, but not at the cost of relationships or peace with God.
Further Reading…
The Importance of Margin in the Life of a Busy Mum: Follow these tips to find Margin even though you live a busy life as a Mum.
How to set goals as a busy, tired, overwhelmed Mum: Goal setting for busy mums can be soul destroying. Instead follow these heart-focused approach for life changing goals whatever season of motherhood you are in.
How Character Choices can Help you Cut Through the Busyness: Busyness robs us of our intentionality and purpose. We need to focus on positive character traits to find balance.
Conversation Starters about being Stressed and Tired
Talking about our emotions and how we handle different situations gives our children a level of self-awareness that will help them in any relationship in their years ahead. So talk about being tired, stressed, overwhelmed, talk about our circle of control and boundaries. Here are a few conversation prompts to have with your kids – and then some to have with your spouse, because encouraging each other in faith, in personal growth and in parenting is all a part of a healthy marriage.
Parents talking with Kids
- What makes you feel really tired or worn out during the day?
- What does it feel like when you feel like you have too much to do? And how can you feel better?
- Do you think God cares when we feel tired or stressed? Why?
- If you could take one thing off your list today, what would it be?
- How can we remind each other to ask God for strength when we feel worn out?
Parents talking with Each Other:
- Where do you feel the most stretched thin right now – and how can I support you better in that area?
- Do you think we’re trying to live at culture’s pace instead of God’s pace? What could we change?
- What signs do you notice in me when I’m running on empty? And what signs do I see in you?
- How can we bring God’s peace into our daily routines instead of doing what we are doing?
- If we were to protect one margin-making habit as a couple or family, what would it be?
Extra support is available
Whether you desire to change your own habits, your family culture or how your children are behaving, coaching will provide you with ideas, support and accountability. My approach is to focus on your values and to clarify the steps necessary so you can eventually see those values lived out in the life of your family. Working with a coach is an effective way to move forward in your family life.
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Hi there! I'm Belinda and I'm glad you are here!
I am a family life coach and help parents to raise their kids with faith, values and life skills in a way that is intentional, relational and heart-focused. Read more in my Introduction page
You can learn about heart-focused parenting through my podcast, blog and weekly email (Heart Boosters).
If you need help you can book a coach call or email me here.
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