6 Skills I Taught my Kids so I could do Other Things
In this podcast episode, I share how as a mother of 4 kids I was able to do other things – things that reflected other aspects of who I was.
I was and still am, more than a mother. That is one very important role I play, but there are facets to my life. Just like there is – or needs to be in yours.
But mothering can be full on, and often full time.
I learnt that when my children could wait, focus, contribute and care for people it created a family life where not only where my kids needs met but so where mine.
Your life may look nothing like mine. But the principle still holds.
Motherhood is an important role — it just isn’t all that defines you. You can teach your kids these skills so that you have time for other things too.
🎧 Listen to the podcast to explore the 6 skills that help mums find time to be themselves.
Not the Center of the Universe
Its easy to make our kids feel like they are the center of the universe and that everything revolves around them. But that only makes our kids self-centered and selfish.
I remember saying to my kids a number of times: It isn’t about you.
On its own this might sound harsh – but we taught our kids they were a part of something special- our family. We were a team together.
The family gives our kids a sense of belonging where they can learn to be themselves (because of course they are special!) but also to care for others.
The family is the place our kids grow up to love God and love others – if that is what your family values are, and what you parent towards.
Do you ever feel like saying: Its not all about you? Maybe its not as bad as it sounds! What do you think?
Teach your Kids so you can Buy Back some Time
When you teach your child to focus, show self control, obey instructions – these skills will help them for the rest of their life, but in the right here and now – they will help you , the mum have a few moments to do other things.
- As your child learns to play by themselves in a safe space, you can get dinner going.
- As they play in a cot, playpen or bedroom, you can spend 30 minutes on a creative project.
- As they pack up their toys, you can hang the laundry.
Our kids don’t need our participation in every moment of their day. They can do things by themselves. And when they do Mums can get other things done – whether that is something relaxing, or some other poject or tasks she has going on.
Teaching your children to do chores, to focus, to have self-control all take time – but it is an investment because it will eventually give you back some time.
Have you ever thought of it this way?
Capacity Grows with Time
One of the biggest frustrations for a parent is how long it takes for a child to learn something.
This is really on us – our impatience – because reality is – it does take time to learn a new skill.
And we should be patient and consistent with helping and encouraging our children.
They learn by watching our example,
Listening to our instruction,
Practicing with our support and encouragement
And then, eventually
they have the capacity to do it on their own!!
Training takes time, it takes our involvement – but eventually we can step back and let our child enjoy their new found abilities. This is how they grow into mature and capable people.
Looking again at Availability
Learning to be available without hovering, taking over or interrupting our children’s learning processes is an important thing to be able to do.
We think being available and inserting ourselves into our children’s lives is a loving thing to do – and for sure, they need to know we are there for them, but they also need to know that we believe in them.
So stepping back and watching what happens – and being ready to step in if needed is what it means to be Available.
When we do that our children grow in capacity – and in confidence of that capacity. And surely that is what we all want for our kids.
Is there an area you need to step back and give your child some space?
Extra support is available
Whether you desire to change your own habits, your family culture or how your children are behaving, coaching will provide you with ideas, support and accountability. My approach is to focus on your values and to clarify the steps necessary so you can eventually see those values lived out in the life of your family. Working with a coach is an effective way to move forward in your family life.
Further Reading
Remember these 4 Training Stages to be an Effective Parent: These 4 training stages helps us to teach our children rather than just tell them. Without these 4 stages we are likely to frustrate our children.
How to Parenting Multiple Kids of Different Ages: Family life stretches parents – but we need to know how to parent each individual child, reaching them where they are at, regardless of where their siblings are at.
How to be a Consistent Parent, Without the Guilt: Being a consistent parent is important, but it is something we grow stronger the more we do the right thing, so don’t let the bad days de rail you!
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Hi there! I'm Belinda and I'm glad you are here!
I am a family life coach and help parents to raise their kids with faith, values and life skills in a way that is intentional, relational and heart-focused. Read more in my Introduction page
You can learn about heart-focused parenting through my podcast, blog and weekly email (Heart Boosters).
If you need help you can book a coach call or email me here.
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