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Siblings can be Friends
– but it’s a matter of the heart
We want our kids to be friends, but we often go about it the wrong way. When we see that being a friend is a matter of the heart – it changes how we parent.
* Video links open on an external site (Vimeo) in a new tab.
As always – if you have any questions I’m happy to answer them via email – or you can book a coaching call.
Come back after you have watched the video and continue with the Related Conversations below.
Related Conversations
You might recognise this moment in your own home – when your kids aren’t actually arguing with each other yet, but something in the atmosphere is not right.
Everyone is a little irritated.
Words have an edge.
Small things begin to annoy each other.
That’s what I used to call the Niggles – those early moments of relationship tension between siblings – when irritation and impatience appear but before a real argument begins. Read or Listen here.
Heart Booster
The Hidden Root of So Many Conflicts: Taking Offence
What does offence look like
What does the Bible say about offence
How you can teach your kids not to take offence
Teach your kids to discern when to speak up
You can read the browser version of this Heart Booster email here.
Saying Sorry
The purpose is to restore the relationship
We can be sad that we’ve hurt someone and we can say sorry – and yet it doesn’t always restore the relationship.
We taught our kids 4 steps when they did something that was either wrong, or hurtful. Repentance, Restitution, Forgiveness, and Restoration.
Over the years we taught what each step meant but we also simplified it for them.
Repentance: I’m sorry – I did this, I was wrong, and it hurt you.
Restitution: I want to (and I will) fix what I hurt or broke.
Forgiveness: Will you please forgive me?
Restoration: Thank you – I love you
It started as a rote exercise till they understood the process and why it was important. And then the script so to speak wasn’t so important. These relational skills start in the head – it may look formulaic – but when it gets to the heart – they own it and it can come out in their own words.
Remember – the purpose isn’t to say sorry – the purpose is to restore the relationship.
Repentance – Restitution – Forgiveness – Restoration.
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Heart-focused Parenting
I help parents to be intentional, relational, and heart-focused as they raise their children to have faith, character and life skills.
(061) 408 691000
PO Box 1123 Kununurra WA 6743
Australia