Think back to the first time you were asked to pray out loud in a group. Maybe it was at youth group, in a Bible study, or even around the family dinner table after Family Devotions. Do you remember that rush of nerves? The pressure to find the “right” words? It feels awkward… maybe even a little terrifying. There is no School of Spiritual Practices that gives our kids a pass mark when they learn to pray out loud, but it is part of corporate worship, and I always wanted to help my kids feel more comfortable praying with other people.  So today I’m sharing some of the ways I did that. 

Teaching Kids to Pray Out Loud: Practical Tips for Parents

Prayer is one of the most personal, precious parts of our walk with God, but for many of us, it doesn’t come naturally. I think parents often assume their kids will just “pick it up,” but like any skill, it grows with practice, and it always helps to have a role model showing you how it is done.

Learning to talk to God – especially out loud and in front of other people –  is a skill that grows over time. Just like we teach our children to read or ride a bike, we can teach them to pray in ways that is natural, meaningful, and personal.

Creating a Safe Place to Learn to Pray

I think praying out loud feels like public speaking – and we all know the statistics for public speaking – people would rather die!  When we attach talking to God with this idea of speaking out loud in front of others, it makes us feel nervous or self-conscious.  We worry that we’ll say it wrong, that we won’t think of anything to say at all, that we’ll miss our cue, or that someone else’s prayer will be better.  Suddenly, what mum and dad are saying is just talking to God becomes a really big deal. 

Very young children seem to pray with a naturalness that makes me think of what Jesus said about us having faith like a child.  It’s simple and uncomplicated – but somewhere along the way, our kids start to feel self-conscious and nervous about praying in front of others – even in front of their parents and siblings.  

Which is why teaching and practicing praying out loud is something that needs to be done at home, in the safety of family.  The absolute first lesson we need to teach our kids is that there is no right or wrong way to talk to Jesus.  They need to know that they won’t be pushed into it, judged, or made to feel silly.  If we show them that talking to Jesus is natural, then they will learn to talk to Jesus naturally.

How to Teach Your Children to Pray Out Loud

Here are some of the practical ways I’ve helped our kids learn to pray out loud — ideas you can adapt for your family, whatever age or stage of faith where your children are in.

1. Model, Model, Model (Praying)

Before prayer can feel natural for our children, they need to see it as a normal part of our own life.

• Do they see you pray?
• Do they hear you pray?

Prayer needs to be woven into the everyday – not just something we do on Sundays or at mealtimes, and not even only at our devotion times.  When they see us turning to God in both ordinary and challenging moments, our kids see that prayer is communicating, not a religious ritual. 

1 Thessalonians 5:17 Never stop praying. (NLT) 

Which implies we pray at all times of the day in all types of situations.

2. “Say After Me” Prayers

When our children were very young, we used Echo Prayers. I’d say a short sentence, and they’d repeat it. This gave them the experience of prayer without the pressure of thinking up the words themselves. It’s a gentle way to model conversation with God and remind them it’s okay to keep it simple. 

Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. (NIV)  

This is what we want our kids to understand about prayer.  It isn’t fancy – it is just conversation with our God who we trust with all that is going on inside of us and around us.

3. Pray Throughout the Day

Whenever you see an opportunity – Pray: pray when someone is hurt, pray when something goes wrong, pray when something goes right. Pray when a bad attitude surfaces or when you lose something!

As an ‘adult’ Christian there are many times we shoot up an arrow prayer and pray about something going on in our day – we need to be aware of those times and invite our kids in to pray with us.  Over time, they’ll see that prayer is simply bringing every part of life to God. 

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (ESV)

4. Pray After Reading Scripture or Doing Devotions

Instead of just closing the Bible and moving on, take a moment to pray in response to what has been read. Focus on a heart application – something to thank God for, confess, or ask for help with. This moves prayer beyond a list of requests of wants, and needs, and connects it directly to His Word (which is talking about what God wants). 

James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

When we start to respond to God’s word in prayer, it establishes our choices that we are going to make through the day.

5. Use Simple Frameworks to Broaden Prayer

Sometimes children only know how to “ask” God for things. That’s where tools like A-C-T-S can help.  ACTS is an acronym that stands for Adoration – Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication.  

When we have a framework, and there are many different frameworks or ideas that guide our kids through prayer time, it gives our children something to focus on and learn different ways to talk to Jesus.  

A – Adoration: praising God for who He is.
C – Confession: clearing our heart from sin.
T – Thanksgiving: being thankful to God for who He is and all He has done.
S – Supplication: bringing our needs and the needs of others to God.

Eph 6:18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 

6. Group Prayer Without Pressure

As I’ve already said, we must reassure our kids that there is no pressure to pray out loud.  It is just something that we will expose our kids to and give them plenty of opportunity to step up into it.  We never force them, but we gently encourage their participation – we go at their speed.

If we do have reluctant kids, we can have a system where they know it is their turn, which removes the anxiety of when to speak up.  The system that is often used in Christian small groups is that we pray around the table.  And teach your children just to say “Amen” if they want to skip their turn.  This is a common practice – and one you can let your kids in on.  

Another aspect of praying in a group that you can share with your kids is that if the person before you is simply not speaking up, not starting to pray, even if they don’t say ‘Amen,’ you can rescue them, so to speak, by moving on and taking your turn.  This is one way of loving each other, and accepting each other for where the othe person is at – even while we are praying.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) – Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 

7. Prepare Them with Conversation Starters

Sometimes children freeze in the moment because they haven’t had time to think about what they want to say to God. We can help by giving them a heads-up before prayer time by talking through a few prompts. This way, when it’s their turn – whether in a one-on-one setting or with the whole family – they already have something on their heart to pray about.

You might like to change up the prompts depending on the ages of your kids and how comfortable they are with prayer, but here are a few.  

• For the toddler / preschooler – you can ask them – What is one thing you can thank God for today?
• For the school kid – you can prompt them with – Who do you know that needs God’s help right now?  Would you like to pray for them?
• For the teenager / the highschooler – you can prep them with asking – Is there a situation you need wisdom for this week?  

I’ve got a few other prompts for each age group – I’ll include them in the blog post – the link for that will be in the Podcast Notes.

Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.  (NIV)

8. Keep Your Goal Clear

When teaching children to pray, it’s easy to slip into focusing on how “good” their prayers are, and are they getting better.  It’s a natural kind of thought when we teach anything.  They start from not knowing how, and they learn how, and they get better.  But – we need to stop and ask:  Am I encouraging honest conversation with God or aiming for polished performance?

We must keep our heart focused on what is important here.  The important thing is that our children are learning to pray to God.  The secondary skill is that they are learning to pray corporately – as a part of the family of God.

Praying out loud is a helpful skill, it is a part of how we worship as a family (the church), but the real goal is that they learn to talk to their Heavenly Father with confidence and sincerity and naturalness.  So we need to keep that as our focus and not be distracted by the external practices of praying.

Acts 2:42: They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. (NIV) 

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Heart-Focused Parenting Action Step

This week, I have a few questions for you to ask yourself to assess this aspect of discipleship in your home.

• Do you kids pray – with you, by themselves, with others out loud?
• Are they growing in their understanding of prayer?   
• Do we model prayer in our family?
• What can we do to teach prayer and actually pray more in our family?

Then revisit these 8 tips that I’ve shared today and just choose one practice that you can introduce to your family and start praying together this week.

Just remember…

God isn’t measuring our children’s prayers by length, vocabulary, or how confident they sound. “The Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). We teach them to pray out loud so they can bless others, agree with others in prayer, and join in the shared life of the church – God’s family. But most of all, we want their relationship with God to grow real and strong – so they know they can talk to Him anytime, about anything. That is why we teach our kids to pray.

Extra Prayer Prep Prompts

Here are the extra prompts I mentioned in the podcast to help your kids think about what they can pray about before you start praying.  These prompts are probably not actually age based – there would be some swap over – but I’ve put them in age groups to help you start thinking which is applicable to your individual child.

High School / Teen

• “What’s one thing you’re grateful for that you don’t often thank God about?”
  
• “Is there a decision or situation you need wisdom for this week?”
  
• “Who is on your heart to pray for today?”
  
• “Is there a part of your life where you want to see God work or change you?”
  
• “What’s one way you can thank God for His faithfulness in your life recently?”

Hi there! I'm Belinda and I'm glad you are here!

I am a family life coach and help parents to raise their kids with faith, values and life skills in a way that is intentional, relational and heart-focused. Read more in my Introduction page

You can learn about heart-focused parenting through my podcast, blog and weekly email (Heart Boosters).

If you need help you can book a coach call or email me here.

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